I don't know what the fuck is going on. My head is a flock of pigeons picking at bits of skull and brain next to a loud fountain. My computer's making a robotic yoo-hoo noise every time something new happens. I want the material banality of the counter bell--ding ding--to summon the storekeeper from the back. Or clotheslines. I want the direct simplicity of a white rope stretched from here to there lined with wood and metal contraptions that bite down and won’t let go until you make them with your thumb and finger. I want that kind of logic. This world is far too complicated and involved. There are far too many modes of communication, ways to get from one place to another, niches to locate, niches to create. Packaging to determine, project, receive, interpret, build on. This whole scene is far too abstract. Far too symbolic. Far too loud, too fast, too bright, too harsh, too electrical. I need a fire, a white rope, a bell. That’s all. I don’t want to live alone in a cave, but my lungs are shrinking out on the sidewalk. I can’t breathe in far enough. There is too much pressure from the atmosphere. I can’t expand enough to match it. I can’t circulate fast enough to keep up. I can’t survive this life this way. I’m going away to where I can look and touch at the same time. Where what I see and what I feel will be the same.
(I'll still have email, though.)